Things I Wish I Did Sooner
Not regrets, necessarily. More like retrospective longings
Regrets are for losers.
…ok, I take that back. There are things that you should regret, like forgoing dessert when you really wanted it or not going to your friend’s birthday party when it actually turned out to be an awesome night.
But in general, I don’t like to dwell on things that already happened. I’m of the school of thought that life is too short for regrets. After all, we can’t go back and fix things; we can only move forward.
There are, however, something things I wish I did sooner in life. Things that changed my way of being for the better, or influenced my outlook in a positive manner. I don’t regret not figuring them out sooner, but I wish I’d been a little more open to trying them at a younger age because they’ve made that much of a difference in my life.
I was thinking about the this topic over the weekend, and realized there are quite a few things I wish I’d done sooner. For now, I’m going to tell you about three that stick out the most:
1. Going to a cat cafe
A few weeks ago when Ryan and I were in Ithaca, we went to Alley Cat Cafe downtown to see some kitties. Believe it or not, in my 26 years of life, that was my first visit to any cat cafe, anywhere.
And yet, I’ve been in many situations over the years where I’ve toyed with the idea of going to one, but never actually followed through. When we lived near Milwaukee, I remember discussing plans to go Sip n’ Purr with several different friends over the years. And earlier this spring, I floated the idea of going to a cat cafe in Ferndale, MI (whose name escapes me), as a post-afternoon-tea activity with my mom and grandma.
But nevertheless, none of these cat-petting plans ever came to fruition. I wasn’t sure if our trip to Ithaca would result in a cat cafe visit, either. That was until Ryan and I ventured downtown on a blistering hot Friday, and decided to go somewhere with air conditioning.
That happened to be the cat cafe. And even though we hadn’t made reservations to see the kitties (which was recommended), there happened to be some availability in the cat room right when we showed up.
So, Ryan and I spent a half hour petting and playing with all the sweet felines that live there. Most were kittens or young cats who gleefully came over to play with the wand toys we found. One exuberant youngin’ could leap an impressive two feet into the air, landing with a loud thunk onto the wood floors.
At one point I sat down on a couch and a small gray and white cat came over to see what I was up to. It sat next to me and let me pet its head. If we weren’t so far away from home, I would’ve considered adoption.
Ryan and I had so much fun and didn’t want to leave when our 30-minute visitation slot was over. I was in the best mood after spending time with the cats, and left wondering why the hell I had put off going to a cat cafe sooner. Now when we travel, it’s one of the first establishments I’m going to look for in every city.
2. Getting a library card
When I moved to Milwaukee for college, I had every intention of getting a library card. I remember going to the main MPL branch with one of my roommates during freshman year to figure out what documents we needed so that we could apply for a card. But for some reason I never came back to actually get one, and to this day I wish I knew why.
Four years went by, and I graduated and moved to the suburbs for my first job. A few months after that, I met Ryan. He was the one who got me to finally sign up for a library card at the Waukesha Public Library, which was the closest to where we both lived at the time.
It was silly that it took me over four years of living in Wisconsin to get a card for a library in Wisconsin. All I had from ages 17 to 21 was a card for my hometown library in Michigan, which I was realistically never going to use again because I never visited my family long enough to check out a book.
Signing up for a Waukesha Library card unlocked a lot of new and nostalgic experiences for me. I was a big library-goer as a kid, and had forgotten the joys of wandering the shelves and picking up random books until I found one that looked interesting. Plus, there was a big section of new releases, where I’d frequent to look for books I’d heard of online by writers I liked (usually fellow journalists).
Ryan and I went to the library a lot, especially during the first year of Covid. It was one of the only open, public spaces we could go to for free and it was easy to distance ourselves from other people. Having access to endless books, movies, and music was also a nice cure for our boredom in those days. Even when we checked out things we didn’t end up reading or watching, it was still fun to go and bring some new stuff home.
Nowadays, living in a new place with a different library card, I know there are a toooon of other things libraries have to offer. It’s a free coworking space, activity venue, and place to check out things that aren’t books or media (like activity kits or free passes to local museums). I love the library, and I wish I’d taken advantage of it when I lived in Milwaukee. I’m also a little bummed that I don’t have an MPL library card to add to my collection.
3. Doing the easy exercises
Me and physical fitness have had a … tumultuous relationship in the past. I’ve written previously about how I hated running as a kid and tried over and over again as an adult to tolerate it. That didn’t really start working out for me until last year.
When I stopped entertaining the idea that running had to always be tough and exhausting, I found I actually liked it. Toning down the difficulty helped me enjoy movement, and also build routines that I can stick to.
Nowadays, I mostly speed walk rather than run. But the big win for me is that I consistently walk four to six miles per day, at minimum. It’s a huge boost to my energy levels, gives me more ability to focus on work, and tamps down the ever-flowing current of anxiety (on most days).
If I’d known sooner that just walking would make such a huge difference in my life, I would’ve done it more when I was younger. I love walking. But because it’s seen as something “easy” and not a real “workout” or whatever, I left it on the back burner in favor of more taxing physical activities to keep up with the athletic folks I knew and admired when I was in college and high school.
And then when I was no longer surrounded by athletic teens and 20-somethings, I kind of stopped exercising altogether, save for a stroll to the mailbox or the occasional yoga session on YouTube. What got me out of that slump, and into a two-year streak of exercising almost everyday, was going easier on myself.
The truth is that you don’t have to do something completely exhausting in order for it to be a workout. Sure, it’s good to push your limits every now and then — but that’s not how routines are built. Pick an activity that’s too hard, and you’ll give up. Pick one that’s easier, and you’re more likely to keep going. After all, you’ve got to start somewhere.
Don’t forget! If you want to come to my new writing class, Grief and Memoir, our in-person session is this Saturday, September 7 at 1pm Central.
**Read more about the class here.**
The online, 100% virtual session will be next week on Saturday, September 14 at 1pm Central. You can sign up for both on the WordHaven Bookhouse website:
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