Sparks and Starts

My next adventure, and the inspiration behind it

Last November, Ryan and I went to a writer’s retreat up north in Sturgeon Bay, where we stayed in a big, beautiful old house with seven other writers.

You know those rare occasions when you meet a group of people and everyone instantly clicks? This was one of those times. The energy was so supportive and easy.

When we made dinner together on the first night, everyone chipped in to help with minimal bumping elbows. During the activity sessions, we felt comfortable pouring our hearts out about our writing projects and the books we loved, sometimes going way over the time planned for each session. (Thankfully, our host was pretty flexible about this!!)

I made several new friends that weekend and left feeling a lot lighter, which was much needed after a stressful fall season. And I was also introduced to an idea that stuck with me: the concept of “sparks.”

In a way, I’d already known what a spark was. But I hadn’t heard it described as such until the retreat. You may also find it familiar after I describe it to you:

Think back to a time when life handed you a new opportunity, and you said yes to it. That’s a spark.

Often times, we remember those sparks because they lead us down a new path that completely changes our lives.

One spark for me would be meeting Ryan at a bar in Milwaukee in 2019. I could have said goodbye to him without exchanging phone numbers, but I liked the conversation we had and wanted to keep in touch. That was a spark — I had an opportunity to build a relationship with this person, and I took it. We ended up building a whole world together because we kept saying yes.

On retreat in Sturgeon Bay, 6 years after we first met.

I had a spark that weekend at the retreat. I’d been thinking about planning a big trip in 2026, but wasn’t sure where I wanted to go or what I wanted to do. (Trips these days can’t be random for me. I have to have a reason — a person, an unfulfilled dream, an event, etc. — to spend all that money.)

So, I put it on the back burner. And because my mental health was in the toilet last year and we’d just gotten married (read all about it here!), coming up with trip itineraries and hunting for deals on hotels and flights was not what I cared to be doing. I love traveling, but can really only enjoy it when things are going well in other areas of my life.

But anyway, back to the spark. Ryan and I were chatting one night with some new retreat friends (if you’re reading this, hi! You know who you are :)) and pulling tarot cards on the couch. They brought up another retreat in [undisclosed location] that they both described as transformative and extremely fun. They were both planning to go in 2026, and said we should come along too if we were interested.

Now, this retreat is very far from home. It requires a 10-hour plane ride, and would take at least a week out of our work schedules. So even though I felt that spark, the one that wanted to me to get the on the plane and just go, I hesitated. Ryan did, too. It would be a big commitment for us and we weren’t sure if it would be feasible in the moment.

I told our new friends we would think about it, and that there was a possibility I might come but Ryan wouldn’t. (Since I freelance, getting time off is a non-issue like it is for Ryan, who only gets a few weeks of vacation every year.)

But by the time I started weighing the pros and cons, I realized the travel bug had already bitten me. I’d subconsciously made up my mind and was going to go to this retreat, even if I acted wishy-washy about it on the surface. As long as I had the money and no other major, career-altering freelance opportunities came my way, it was going to happen.

On the water in Sturgeon Bay

Ryan ultimately decided his heart wasn’t in it, and that he’d rather save his vacation time for a different trip. So I started planning. Everything slowly fell into place: the client work piled up, the checks kept coming, and I gradually booked the lodging and transportation I wanted over several months.

Plus, I found out that my journey to the retreat would give me the opportunity to visit several locations where I could reconnect with old friends. So I planned a few detours before and after the retreat to see some folks I haven’t spent time with IRL in a long while.

What I’ve learned about myself is that I can’t just be a chill person and go on a short solo trip. I have to make a Big Freakin’ Deal out of things whenever I travel alone.

So, what began as a week-long vacation ended up as a three-week-long solo trip that will take me to at least four different cities/towns over a total distance of 4000+ miles. Oops!

And that’s how I ended up planning my next adventure. All thanks to a spark and my own chaotic desire for escape.

I’m going to be on the road soon, and I’m excited to share some dispatches as I go. Every place I visit, I will be experiencing for the first time. I always find a lot of inspiration in novelty, so I’m hoping this is the kind of trip that will get me writing regularly again.

I’m intentionally keeping my destinations a secret as a fun surprise (and also for privacy reasons). Some of you reading this already know where I’m going, and I ask that you keep your knowledge to yourself in the comments to not ruin the surprise ;)

For now, wish me luck and send me your favorite tips for dealing with long-haul flights. Stay tuned for more soon!

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