Burning Out on Social Media

I don't know what to do with Instagram anymore

I’m gonna sound like an old fart here, but remember when social media used to be fun? Remember when it was all about poking your friends on Facebook and sharing inside jokes on each other’s walls? When Twitter (sorry, I’m never calling it X) was just a place to find meme accounts and famous people who posted funny shit? When YouTube videos were just a couple teens making skits in their parent’s basement on a handheld camcorder? Those were the days.

As a Zillennial, I grew up squarely in the days when social media rose to prominence. I’m blessed to remember a time before it was popular and to have experienced the earliest iterations of social media sites before they became a deluge of rage-inducing clickbait interspersed with advertisements and AI slop.

Every year that I stay active on social media, I can feel myself slowly reaching a threshold where the cons of staying online outweigh the pros. I’ve already hit that point with Twitter and Facebook. I’m approaching it with Instagram. Substack and Reddit are still pretty tolerable, but there are days when I get the urge to ghost these platforms entirely. (Re: Substack — just Substack Notes, not the newsletter, don’t worry!!)

The point I’m trying to make is that social media just isn’t fun like it used to be. I’m not sure if it’s just a sign of the times, or if algorithms have generally gotten worse, or if my interests have changed, or if it’s a combo of all of the above. Regardless, I’m getting to a point where I’m becoming bored and disillusioned with social media and its discontents.

Social media, as the name implies, is supposed to be about connecting with others, right? And yet I feel so disconnected from the people I’m supposed to be keeping in touch with on those sites. The algorithm on Instagram makes it tough to see my friend’s posts consistently, in favor of recommending content from more popular creators (often ones I don’t follow) who make viral Reels.

I didn’t get on Instagram to watch Reels. I just wanted to see images of my friends getting engaged or attending graduations or going on cool vacations. Sure, some Reels are cool, but if I see one too many it fries my brain and I don’t even remember what I went on Instagram to see in the first place.

And image from a fireworks show I posted on Instagram in 2012.

Over the past few months, I’ve found myself going on Instagram to make a post, only to abandon it because I don’t even feel like posting it. If I make a post, the little dopamine rat in my mind will want to watch the amount of comments and likes go up so we can feel super validated for making a really cool post. Plus I know I’ll have to keep checking the app so I can engage with the people who comment on it.

Then while I’m on there admiring my post, I’ll get sucked into watching more viral Reels. I’ll spend an hour scrolling before I check the time and realize I’ve been hunched over in bed like a gremlin, wasting daylight.

Once I’m out of the Instagram rabbit hole, I’ll ask myself, what was any of that for? I’ll barely retain the contents of the Reels I watched or the posts I liked. The comments I’ll reply to on my own posts will usually just be friendly banter from people who I talk to outside of Instagram anyway; not exactly the most important or riveting conversations. Despite this, I’ve still tried to stay active on the app so I don’t miss anything.

However, I sense things are starting to change. I had several moments last week where I opened up Instagram, sighed, and closed it again. It just felt like too much information — and at the same time I was overwhelmed with a profound sense of boredom. There was so much content at my fingertips, and none of it was even satisfying to consume. I’ve seen other writers compare social media to junk food, and that’s what it’s starting to feel like to me, too; all sugar and no substance.

The truth is, I’m not “building community” on Instagram like I used to think I was. It’s a great way for me to keep tabs on people I’ve already met IRL and learn about cool events, but not to meet or reach new folks. The same goes for Substack — the people I interact with on here are mostly individuals who know me from past eras of my life or attend my writing classes. I’m maintaining friendships through social media, but I don’t often find myself building new ones.

Another old pic from Instagram that I posted in the summer of 2012.

That’s not to say I haven’t used social media in the past as a tool to meet people or grow an audience. But the online-only connections I’ve made with people happened more in the days when social media sucked less.

I met a lot of cool folks on Twitter back in the day who I’ve lost touch with now. On Instagram, I used to have a fashion account where I talked to several strangers who became my internet fashion buddies. Tumblr, back in high school, was also a fun place to meet fellow moody, music-loving teens. Those connections never blossomed into offline relationships, but they did give me a reason to log on every day.

I don’t know when the shift happened, but today’s social media often feels devoid of the “social” part. My conversations online lately have felt stilted and chore-like (the exception being the convos we have in the responses to this newsletter, which are almost always genuine and well thought-out). The content I consume, especially on Instagram, feels disposable; I won’t remember it after I’ve watched the 30-second video or liked the 8-photo carousel. And the connections I have on there feel empty when they’re not accompanied by a friendship I’ve nurtured outside the platform.

Plus, I have not been enjoying being online as much lately as I’ve enjoyed being at in-person gatherings. It hits different being in a room with like-minded people who want to get to know you as a person rather than an online personality. So I’ve found myself questioning what role I even want social media to play in my life going forward, when I know I can get offline and have more fulfilling interactions.

If social media is not a tool for connection, then honestly, what’s the point? Entertainment? Validation? I just don’t really know what the path forward is, espcially for Instagram, which I’ve been using since middle school.

I know it’s not just me who feels disillusioned with social media. And yet, like many of you, I feel hesitant to give it up for good, knowing the power it has to connect people.

Me in a 2014 Instagram post with some sparklers on the 4th of July.

As much as I wish the old internet was still a thing, I know it will never come back. The things people post will continue to lack the genuine flair and charm of early social media. We won’t be able to go on a platform like Instagram without seeing ads or viral content shoved onto our feeds by the algorithms.

And yet, I think this is an important inflection point for those of us who are still on social media. Do we want to give as much of our time and attention to these commercialized platforms — or is there a better way forward? I tend to think the latter is true, and it starts with spending more time offline. That’s a lot easier said than done though, and requires unlearning years of internet-focused habits.

I like to remind myself that there was a time before social media where we managed to make and maintain friendships and have meaningful lives without having to post about everything. I wish I rememeber what that felt like, but I was only about 8 when Facebook debuted. Even though social media isn’t going away, I hope I can rediscover some inkling of what my young self felt like in the years before she logged on for the first time.

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