Something of a Celebration
Literally can't have a normal anniversary around here lol
Last Monday was eventful, but it wasn’t supposed to be. Ryan and I had the day off and went downtown for two things: our anniversary brunch and a routine blood draw. I had just gone to a new primary care doctor a week prior and he ordered labs for me, so I thought it’d be no big deal to do the blood draw first thing in the morning and then go out and get some food afterward.
Blood draws are usually not a problem for me. I don’t have an imposing fear of needles, and while I usually feel a little anxious about getting my arm pricked, I’ve gotten pretty good at just taking deep breaths and staring out the window until its over.
The clinic we go to is within walking distance of the brunch place we planned to stop at afterward. There are also some shops in the area, so Ryan originally planned to walk around while I was getting my blood drawn — but I convinced him to just wait in the lobby for me. “It’ll only take like, 10 minutes,” I told him.
So we got into the clinic, which was super empty and quiet. The nurse checked me in and then brought me to a space in the back of the small building while Ryan waited in the front. “Do you have any issues with blood draws?” she asked, while leading me to a plush, red chair to sit in. “No, not really,” I said. “I just get a little anxious, but I should be fine.”
When I’m nervous at medical appointments, I tend to get chattier than normal. Making conversation with the healthcare professional who’s about to stick a needle or some other device into one of my body parts helps keep my head from spinning.
Once I sat down in the chair, I kept yapping to the nurse. “You know, there was this one time where I got a little faint after a blood draw, but I also fasted, like, way too long,” I said. “The appointment was at 11am or something and I was starving. So I’m glad I decided to come early this time because that probably won’t happen again haha…”
The nurse nodded along as she slapped my arm repeatedly. “Your vein is a little hidden,” she said. “I’m just trying to get it to show up before I put the needle in.”
I sat there trying to not think too hard about the needle part. It’s not really the needle that’s the problem for me — I just really don’t like the sensation of something pricking my arm and knowing it’s sucking my blood out. I think I like the blood part less than the needle part. Blood grosses me out when it’s not encased in flesh, where it belongs.
“Ok, this should just take a second,” the nurse said, getting ready to insert the needle. “Take a deep breath and look away.”
I took a deep breath, than another. And another, and another. Dang, this is taking forever, I thought. I could feel the slight pressure of the needle in my vein, which also caused a pinching sensation. “Try to relax,” the nurse said. I knew my stress was only making things feel worse, but it was hard to wrap my mind around any kind of calm when the discomfort was all I could feel.
My hands were starting to get sweaty, which is not normal for me (I’m not a very sweaty person in general). I was feeling tense at that point, my eyes searching the trees outside the window for a bird or something to distract me. Then, to my relief, the nurse removed the needle after what felt like a full minute of drawing blood. “You’re all done,” she said. “How do you feel?”
“I feel pretty good!” I said, sighing for real this time. But I also felt hot and sweaty — was it just because I was sitting in the sun? I craned my neck, but the sun wasn’t shining on me through the window. Then, I looked at my hands, which were soaked with beads of sweat. They looked like I’d just been filling up water balloons with a hose that went haywire.
Clearly, I wasn’t 100%. I tried breathing deeply to calm myself down, but noticed an odd, tickling sensation in my stomach that I only get when I’m about to lose consciousness. Aw shit, I thought. Here we go.
My ears began to ring, and spots floated in front of my eyes. I told the nurse I wasn’t feeling good, and that I thought I might pass out. The next few seconds (minutes?) were a blur as I fought against my body’s desire to panic and conk out. I asked the nurse to get Ryan from the front because he had a snack for me. She also gave me a juice box and some ice packs and helped transfer me into one of those gravity lawn chairs that reclines backwards so I could lie down (yes, the clinic is fairly low-tech).
Anyway, I’m glad Ryan decided to stay at the clinic with me rather than walking around, because that appointment most definitely did not take just 10 minutes. I ended up laying in the gravity chair for probably 20 minutes sipping a juice box and eating my granola bar. I’m happy to report that I did not pass out completely — but I came pretty close to it.
The nurse told me it’s pretty common for people to come close to passing out when getting their blood drawn. It’s an automatic response called vasovagal syncope, where your body reacts to a sudden drop in blood pressure by just … shutting down. Basically, your system senses that blood pressure change and is like “nuh-uh, I’m soooo not dealing with this.” Annoying that it happens to me, but at least I learned something new!
Ryan and I were a little shaken up by the whole episode because it was totally not what we were expecting to happen that morning. But, we still walked to brunch afterward and had a tasty meal. We’ve now been together for five whole years (!!) and it seems sometimes that our anniversary coincides with some ~light~ chaos.
The year after we started dating was 2020, so we celebrated our first anniversary hunkered down indoors during Covid. The second year was also a weird Covid year, and on the third we had just finished moving to a new town, which was exciting but also exhausting. The fourth year was weird because Ryan had just lost his job, but we still went out to celebrate with a nice dinner. And then this year was the bad blood draw and brunch.
Hey, at least our anniversaries are usually memorable!
(P.S. if you want to read more about how Ryan and I met, check out this essay I wrote when we got engaged last year.)
Pssst… I’m teaching a writing class in July. It’s called The 60-Minute Memoir, and will be hosted by one of my favorite independent bookstores: WordHaven Bookhouse in Sheboygan, Wisconsin!
Come hang out and brainstorm some ideas for your own shortform memoirs/personal essays (like the ones you read here)! We’ll also discuss strategies for writing when you hit writer’s block or don’t have a lot of time to write.
Honestly, most of the essays I write for this newsletter are done in about an hour or so, and that’s what helps me consistently write despite my busy schedule. So if you want to write more about your experiences but need help doing it in a timely fashion, this class is for you.
Even if writing fast isn’t your thing, you’ll leave class with some personalized prompts for your next essay. Class is $10 per person, and proceeds directly benefit me and WordHaven.
And the best news? You can attend virtually or in-person. Here’s when each class is happening:
July 13: In person class at WordHaven in Sheboygan (click here to sign up)
July 27: Virtual class (click here to sign up)
Thank you thank you thank you all for helping me get pretty darn close to my spring 2024 fundraising goal! We raised $683 of $800, which is a lot for this little newsletter.
I haven’t decided yet what to do for summer, but my Ko-fi page remains open if you want to drop a tip in the jar.
This newsletter will always be free to read and share, but I rely on the generous donations of readers to build financial security and keep this project going long-term.
Huge shoutout to my 2024 supporters:
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KRW
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Mom
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