It's Dumb Bird Season
Welcome to nature's version of reality TV
Ah, spring. For us humans in the north, it’s time to shed our winter layers, shake off the seasonal blues, and break out the sunscreen.
For the birds, it’s time to be … a little crazy. Migration is winding down, and mating season is kicking into full gear. All those raging birdie hormones causes our feathered friends to act up and do some weird shit.
It’s no secret that I’m a big birder. In addition to carrying my binoculars anywhere I can, I spend more time than I care to admit observing the avian visitors in my backyard every day. (Y’all might be familiar with one of my favorites, Harv, a robin with a decorative crown who’s often around hunting for worms.)
Every season has its pros and cons for birdwatching, but spring is a favorite for myself and many other birders. Especially after a long winter, hearing the songs of so many species all around you has a certain magic to it.
But spring is also a fantastic season to witness all kinds of ridiculous bird behaviors that make it feel like you’re watching nature’s version of reality TV.
There’s real drama in the trees this time of year. So today I’m sharing some of the most entertaining things I’ve seen in my backyard during spring.
And, you, too should drop me a line if you have any weird bird behavior stories to share. I’d love to hear them.
1. Fight club
Aggression between birds is only normal this time of year. There’s fierce competition for mates, breeding grounds, food, and nest-building supplies. So it’s only a matter of time before you see an all-out fight.
Some of the dirtiest brawls I’ve seen are between flocks of Canada geese. These birds do NOT hold back. Usually, the confrontation starts with neck-bobbing and some honks, then escalates into hissing, screeching, and chasing each other on land and in the water until someone gets bit.
The other week I was going for a walk by the river and saw a goose start honking aggressively at another goose before the pair started chasing each other around a little island. The first goose eventually caught up to the second goose and started biting its wing. Even when goose #2 started to pull away, goose #1 wouldn’t let go. It was clear the first goose didn’t care how much it hurt the second one.
I’m a little ashamed to say I enjoy a good goose fight, but I do. Watching the birds throw hands (wings?) is one of my favorite springtime activities. It just gets so unhinged.
If you’re lucky, you might also see a pair of songbirds get into a tussle, too. Last year, I watched two male goldfinches tackle each other midair and chew each other up until they were about an inch from the ground. That was a CLOSE call.
2. Ducks on the roof
Let me just preface this by saying that regular ol’ mallards are a hoot this time of year. Like Canada geese, I frequently see them fight. The duck brawls I’ve watched don’t last as long as the ones between geese, but they still involve a lot of quacking, biting, and flying feathers.
Ducks do other weird things this time of year, too. One of the surefire signs of spring in my neighborhood is the sudden flocks of mallards that congregate on rooftops. I haven’t really figured out why they do this, but it’s funny to watch.
Usually, I get wind of a rooftop duck meeting when I hear the quack of a single drake. Then I look over and find he’s usually standing up there with two or three of his buddies. Sometimes they start chasing each other on the roof (?) which not only seems impractical but also dangerous. (I guess if you have wings though, it’s not that big of a deal if you fall off).
3. You call that a nest?
When you think of a bird nest, you probably envision a tightly-woven bunch of sticks and leaves designed to cradle the most delicate eggs. But not every bird has that kind of nest-building prowess.
Mourning doves are known for their ability to breed basically anywhere. Their secret: making the crappiest-looking nests you’ve ever seen.
A mourning dove nest is usually just a pile of sticks and debris thrown together in a pinch. And one of my favorite things in the spring is watching the mourning doves build those nests — or, at least, attempt to.
In my neighborhood, the birds love sitting on the tops of AC units. I can tell a mourning dove is planning to nest there when I see it pushing around a few twigs. For some reason, they never seem to stick around long enough to lay eggs on the AC units, though. Maybe nesting on top of a big metal box with a few twigs isn’t that comfy after all.
4. Singing rain or shine
Bad weather is no excuse for birds to stop searching for a mate! Being near Lake Michigan, we often get high winds here in the spring. Even when it feels like the next gust might blow you away, it doesn’t stop the birds from singing.
One time, I watched a stubborn male finch sing his intricate song on my deck as the wind threatened to toss him off. It was remarkable that his tiny claws managed to ground him through it.
Maybe the finch was just trying to show off to potential mates how tough he was in the face of a strong breeze. Honestly, I respect the hustle.
5. Young pests
Birdwatching becomes a different kind of activity once eggs start hatching. You start to notice weird sounds in your backyard that you can’t identify, and some birds just look downright strange.
That’s because they’re juveniles — not fully developed, and not all that recognizable if you’re used to ID’ing adult birds all year round. But as the years go by, you’ll start to notice the juveniles in late spring/early summer, and develop a fondness (or a distaste) for them.
Some young birds are more fun to observe than others. I love baby cardinals so much that I can recognize their calls even when they’re hiding in trees far away. But in my neighborhood, one type of young bird I always see without fail are the starlings (not my favorite).
Adult starlings are annoying enough, but their babies are somehow worse. In my backyard, the adults spend a lot of time marching through the grass, pecking around in search of food. But the juveniles don’t know how to do that yet, so they rely on their parents to feed them.
And boy, are they pesty! Juvenile starlings will scream as they trail their parents, who are just trying to find something to feed them. And when the adults don’t work fast enough, the juveniles will run up and bite their parent’s wings, signaling that they’re HUNGRY and NEED FOOD NOW.
The juvenile starling screech is ever-present once we reach summer around here. It’s the only bird call I actually get sick of, so much that I’ll close my windows when they’re around. And then, once the weather starts to turn, I’ll breathe a sigh of relief that I don’t have to hear those boisterous babes for another year.
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